thymelord

there is emotion in everything, ever color, ever scent, every touch every word and combination thereof, when you combine words, sentences, paragraphs, there is evolving emotion, when you can keep track of that, when you can tell where the emotion is going, how it is moving, as you write, then you can create art, art is not about looks, its about feeling, how does that color used there make you feel, this line connecting to this line to make this shape with this color, or in books and poems, these specific words combined in these ways , how do they make you feel. i can feel the emotion in my head, moving, shaping, i feel like as i write im molding a specific feeling, slight adjustments here and there to get it just the right look, shape, color, as i write this im imaging making a clay pot, as the spindle keeps on running, and where you hold your hands ultimately shapes the pot...when you try and glean meaning by dissecting each word, you ultimately ruin the work of art, it is meant to be experienced as a whole, and soaked in as one, you wouldnt enjoy each ingredient of a cake by itself, combine each ingredient in specific amounts and in different ways to create a final product, to be enjoyed as a whole.

so bored
i sit here on this laptop staring at the screen, no one is responding.
this dull glow sort of lulling me to stay here, find something to do before i allow myself to leave
the dull night, these nights that i dont work. and try to fill with a sense of, im not sure, accomplishment?
oh how insane this is, just wandering the internet looking for attention, am i so vane?
my plight still holds, no one is around, no one hears me. no one sees me. i am alone.

so i have reason 5.....and a keyboard.....and well.........SOON I SHALL BE MAKING MOOOZAAAACK!!!!!!!!!! just thought you should all know....im actually a pretty good keyboardist....just never had a way to acutally make a production....just freestyle on the piano

so ...uh...hi i like these things, cause im talking to future people right now, and then they are talking to future me. so like....i say this to someone who is totally like a couple hours in the future.....right....and then even future..er...me reads their comment, and then replies...GENIOUS...its like time travel with a wait.....or is that just how time moves.....idk....i just like thinking about things...haha...so even tho im overly overthinking it and just geeking about about nothing....i still like talking to yall, cause i mean right now.....theres no one to talk to, but i write these...to talk to people..that arent really online..and somehow it makes me feel better.....cause i guess ive learned not to expect a responnse right away......lol.....i guess im just bored right now cause i got out of a depressive mood by playing videya games wif mah roomate
(naww i aint in college, im livin with the dude....in mah dads basement...BUT ITS COOL, cause technically we are just living in the house, since hes like never here, and we get cheap rent....SCORE ...) so yeah...hes all talking to his pretend highschool girlfriend..cause shes in a downy mood too...so here i am, smackin my gaw to you folks.....and dont get me wrong or nuthin, your kewl, just...nto here right now to give me instantaneous entertainment.....blaahahahahaha....you guys suck....lol so yay hi, new id and what not...and hey wow......thats just like one huge paragraph and i REALLY dont feel like fixin it......well if you guys read it all......then i know yall actually like me ....idk...i dont really expect it from yas....so dont worry yer little heads.......night yall....

so i can talk to you folks about life ....no judgin yaay.
so ...my life is full of mistakes, lost my virginity cheating on one of my first girlfriends.....then later...i have sex my close friends fiance....and then there are really AWESOME (sarcasm) things ive done that i really dont want to talk about....and yeah. awesome. thats life. you make mistakes, it gets you places and you learn lessons...i get that....i hate what ive done but i appreciate what ive learned and where i am (MY GOSH jess is amazing....wouldnt do it different if i could) and yet lately....all of my dreams have been me doing those things over again, and enjoying them..and ...basically like reliving them....just...completely reliving, sparing no detail....so...i ...of course...wake up ...about ever half hour, and if you know anything about sleep. you have to STAY ASLEEP FOR LONGER THAN A HALF AN HOUR for it to do ANYTHING....i mean i get a total of like 9-10 hours of sleep sometmes, but ......it doesnt do anything...i just....meh...cant seem to sleep anymore. not to mention i lie in bed for a few hours working up the gumption to actually go to sleep. cause i really dont want to see them again...all that.......